Dear brothers and sisters! In my khutba today, I wish to share some thoughts with you on Allah’s amazing gift of the tongue that we humans have been endowed with. It is the gift of that fleshy muscular organ in our mouths, used for articulating speech besides its many other functions. I will restrict my discourse only to the moral and ethical aspects of the tongue’s function as an instrument and organ of speech, and how to best use it to please Allah rather than to displease Him.
Try to imagine a world without speech where communication comprised of just grunts and groans, not words. Without words we are deprived of Allah’s ultimate gift— divine guidance. Allah’s guidance has come to us through the language of the Quran and the words of His Prophet (SAW). Keeping this in mind, we can begin to appreciate the blessings attached to our ability to speak.
It is the capacity to speak that allows us to communicate with our Creator through our prayers, supplications, repentance, and constant remembrance of Him. It allows us to recite the Quran, to communicate with each other, to give good advice, to soothe and comfort those in pain, to urge people to do good and forbid them from doing bad. It is through our ability to speak that we greet each other, thank each other, disseminate knowledge and engage in da’wah activities.
We are responsible for what we look at, what we listen to, what we say, and what we do, for Allah has shown us the two paths of good and evil. Allah reminds us in the Qur’an,
أَلَمْ نَجْعَلْ لَهُ عَيْنَيْنِ () وَلِسَانًا وَشَفَتَيْنِ () وَهَدَيْنَاهُ النَّجْدَيْنِ
‘Have We not given him two eyes, and a tongue, and a pair of lips, and shown him the two paths?
However, just as one may get inclined to misuse one’s eyes to look at something that is undesirable, misuse one’s ears to listen to something that is not right, one may also tend to misuse one’s tongue to utter something that is blameworthy.
We lie, we criticize, we backbite, we use vulgar language, we exaggerate, we brag and boast, we falsely accuse others, we mimic and we make fun of people. This kind of irresponsible speech sometimes has far-reaching consequences on the lives of others and can cause great harm and pain. Just as we’ll be held accountable for all our actions, big or small, so too we’ll be held accountable for each and every word that comes out of our mouths. There is a stern warning in the Qur’an regarding this,
مَا يَلْفِظُ مِنْ قَوْلٍ إِلاَّ لَدَيْهِ رَقِيبٌ عَتِيدٌ
“Not a single word is uttered by anyone except that there is an observer near him, ready (to record” (Qaf, 50:18).
Indeed this is a frightening prospect. During the course of the day, we say so many things without realizing how harmful they are. We pass remarks about people’s looks; about people’s negative traits. So and so is ugly, fat, stupid, lazy, worthless, and so on. We use abusive language. Worse still are the biting remarks some of us make without knowledge about Islam, about the Qur’an, about the Prophets, and sometimes even about Allah, never stopping to think that it’s all being recorded and will be presented to us on the Day of Resurrection. There are many Prophetic traditions on the issue of guarding and controlling one’s tongue.
The Prophet (SAW) said, “Whosoever gives me a guarantee to safeguard what is between his jaws (meaning the tongue), and what is between his legs (meaning the private parts), I shall guarantee him paradise.” We have to remember that on the Day of Judgment our physical organs will stand as witnesses against us if we use them in the wrong way. As Allah says in Surat al-Nur,
يَوْمَ تَشْهَدُ عَلَيْهِمْ أَلْسِنَتُهُمْ وَأَيْدِيهِمْ وَأَرْجُلُهُم بِمَا كَانُوا يَعْمَلُونَ
“On the Day when their own tongues, hands and feet shall bear witness against them about what they did” (al-Nur, 24:24).
According to a hadith, the Prophet (SAW) said, “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him either speak good or keep silent.” He also said, “The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe, and the emigrant (muhajir) is the one who abandons what Allah has forbidden.” On one occasion he also said, “Most of the sins of the children of Adam are on their tongues.”
It has been said, “Silence is wisdom, whereas few act according to it.” It has also been said, “Speak only when your words are more beautiful than silence.” One of the hallmarks of righteous behavior is good speech. A person who stays mindful of Allah will want to refrain from sins of the tongue such as backbiting, slander, gossip, lying, swearing, cursing and vain talk. The Qur’an and Hadith warn us against these sins of the tongue.
Taking time to ask oneself the following questions will help avoid vain speech or idle talk: (1) “Will this saying of mine please Allah?” (2) “Will this saying of mine bring me closer to Allah?” & (3) “Does this saying reflect obedience to Allah?” If one is uncertain, he or she should keep quiet rather than risk saying something which contradicts Islamic belief or behavior. This doesn’t mean that a person can’t engage in casual conversation. Rather it means that we should guard our speech and choose our words carefully.
The ultimate success for a Muslim is to be admitted into Paradise. Good speech plays a role in earning that reward. Surat al-Mu’minun begins with the words,
قَدْ أَفْلَحَ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ () الَّذِينَ هُمْ فِي صَلَاتِهِمْ خَاشِعُونَ () وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ عَنِ اللَّغْوِ مُعْرِضُونَ
“Successful indeed are the believers; those who are humble in their prayers; Who avoid vain talk” (al-Mu’minun, 23:1-3).
Conversely, sins of the tongue can lead a Muslim to hell. The Prophet (SAW) said: “A man may be so close to paradise such that the distance between him and paradise is one arm’s length and he speaks a word and he becomes distant from it further than Sana.” (i.e. he goes very far away from paradise). He also said, “The faith of a servant is not put right until his heart is put right, and his heart is not put right until his tongue is put right.” This shows that the Prophet (SAW) has made the purification of faith conditional on the purification of the heart and the purification of the heart conditional on the purification of the tongue.
Uqbah ibn Amr reported: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, what action will save us?” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Control your tongue, let your house be sufficient for you, and weep for your sins.” Brothers and sisters! How many of us weep over our sins? It is essential, that we refrain from sins such as gossip, backbiting, slander, lying and cursing. By remembering and fearing Allah, we will find it easier to choose our words carefully. May Allah give us the tawfiq for this.
أَقُولُ قَوْلِي هَذَا وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ لِي وَلَكُمْ وَلِسَائِرِ المُسْلِمينَ وَالمُسْلِمَاتْ فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهْ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ
الحمد لله رب العالمين والصلاة والسلام على سيد المرسلين وعلى آله وأصحابه أجمعين. ( ثم أما بعد)
One of the tips of controlling the tongue is to think before speaking. The phrases “think before you speak” and “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all” seem to be worn-out clichés—stereotyped expressions, but they are not. They hold a lot of weight in the life of Muslims. We have become so accustomed to speaking without thinking that words just seem to fly out of our mouths before we know it. Take a few moments before you speak to evaluate whether what you are about to say is beneficial or necessary. When your thoughts wander to saying something unnecessary or possibly hurtful, turn your focus to doing dhikr or simply contemplating, rather than wasting time on unnecessary speech, which is not beneficial and potentially harmful.
Also, hard as it may be, if we do happen to say something that is hurtful to someone, simply apologize. This can have nothing but positive effects. Many of us have trouble apologizing to people and accepting our mistakes; so saying sorry will humble us and will also ensure that we are more careful next time. Secondly, it can help improve our relationship with the other person, because we are showing that we are aware of their feelings and that we care about them.
The company we keep has also a lot to do with controlling our tongues. If you are going to be with people, surround yourself with good company. It takes two to gossip. Most people who engage in backbiting and slandering will not do it all the time and with all people. In fact, they may have a select group of friends who share this habit. If you find that certain people make it easier for you to engage in this, stay clear of this crowd!
One way to atone for any slandering/lying/backbiting is to identify those persons who you spoke about wrongly. Seek their forgiveness, and if this cannot be done for any reason, then at least mention them well and praise them in the same circles of people in which you had earlier spoken about them negatively.
If we ever evaluate the time spent in talking and how much of it was spent on productive talk vs. unproductive talk, the results can be revealing. While some of us may have the gift of the gab, meaning we can talk well, we should also train ourselves how not to talk. This can help us to reflect on exactly how useful silence is. Indeed the prophetic teachings tell us that we should remain silent, especially if we do not have anything good to say.
Last but not least, we should make it our habit to mention the name of Allah (SAW) in our conversations. Without this there is little protection from falling into the traps of Satan and losing control of our tongues. Every word we say will be held to account. Let our speech not be the source of regret in the Hereafter. Let us make our tongues moist with the remembrance of Allah (SWT).
My dear brothers and sisters! I admonish you and myself first, to refrain from vain talks, to stop spreading rumors, to verify any news before jumping to conclusions, to stop all types of backbiting against one another, to speak softly and gently, to increase our knowledge of Islam, to learn and teach, to take the initiative of making da’wah for the love and pleasure of Allah, to keep busy in doing something good to yourselves and to others, and to keep watch over your mistakes and sins.
May Allah accept our repentance for the irresponsible use of the precious gifts of our tongues, our eyes, our ears, our limbs, and our intellect. May He make us among those from whom others are safe. Ameen Ya Rabb al-Aalameen.
